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inside these tortured thoughts


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11 replies to this topic

#1
painful_tears

painful_tears

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so many tears i have cried over these years
i feel insane becuz my life is full of nuhtin but pain
look at my clothes and see the bloodstains
no one gets the way i feel, they make me feel
like killin myself for real, i wish i wasnt misunderstood
i hide my true self under a hood hopin no one
can see the real me, if i showed my true self
they would never believe, everyone thinks im okay
well wait until that final day when i make all my pain
go away, sittin alone cryin at home goin into depression zone
feelin i face this shit all alone, no one gets it all of this is a
bunch of shit, i wish it would all go away, im jus waintin for
that final day when no one can hurt me and they will say why
didnt i see this and they will pray for me to live but i wont becuz
u made me the way i am sad and alone with no hand, no one to
listen, no one who cares, please keep my memory in your prayers,
to the ones who did love me im sorry i had to go, but time heals
all wounds. trust me i know

#2
Silvius

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interesting......

#3
Viktor

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See painful_tears I Told you that they're are actually good, though some people may not think so others will.
-Viktor (elder vampire) :)

#4
darkskye

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that was good very outpouring seems like you had a moment of breakage when you wrote this.
-skye

#5
blackbambi

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...Deep stuff
this is mine thats...semi-similar

I can't let it out,
It's enclosed in me,
never letting go
it tortures me
overflowing my body
yet it is able to get bigger and stronger
day by day it floods my interior
never letting my tonsils have use
people around me notice nothing
for they only see the laughing me
the people who want to make me hold it in
are the people who have created it
my mind churns for answers
yet the only people who can answer then
are the people who have created them
i need my someone to embrace me
tell me i can let it all out
but that someone
is the one who is not there


i found this in my mums old hippy books...

i watch out my window
as the world passes
slowly by.
i wonder what this world
sees in my window
when they look or
happen to notice.
i used to be shure
of what i was,
and of what i always
would be.
but now-
i'm not sure as then.
when i look in the mirror,
i see a strangers face;
i see fear on this face;
i see tears in those eyes;
and it reflects a sad
kind of loneliness.
i try to understand.
i try to talkto
that stranger.
but she only turns around
and walks away-
silently,slowly.
i see one more thing.
i see truth.
and i know that
this stranger is trying
to get a message out.
it's not easy to accept
the fact that that stranger
is really me,
but i try.
i try very hard
cause i don't want that
world that passes by
my window
to end up like that
stranger in the mirror.

--Cindy Westfall

#6
Weeping_Angel

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so many tears i have cried over these years
i feel insane becuz my life is full of nuhtin but pain
look at my clothes and see the bloodstains
no one gets the way i feel, they make me feel
like killin myself for real, i wish i wasnt misunderstood
i hide my true self under a hood hopin no one
can see the real me, if i showed my true self
they would never believe, everyone thinks im okay
well wait until that final day when i make all my pain
go away, sittin alone cryin at home goin into depression zone
feelin i face this shit all alone, no one gets it all of this is a
bunch of shit, i wish it would all go away, im jus waintin for
that final day when no one can hurt me and they will say why
didnt i see this and they will pray for me to live but i wont becuz
u made me the way i am sad and alone with no hand, no one to
listen, no one who cares, please keep my memory in your prayers,
to the ones who did love me im sorry i had to go, but time heals
all wounds. trust me i know

I think this is a great outpour of emotion...and you have structure as well..
I appreciate reading someones soul..and to be a writer is to have your work read, right?...It touched my heart to read such honesty not jumbled with alot of metephoric words that hide the true heart of the work.
I really liked it I hope you post more :)

#7
Viktor

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I Told You :D

#8
Viktor

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They are good didn't i?

#9
Enki Anunaki

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my friends and i would refer to that poem as bustin a flow...very nice, though never really controlled...just sort of leaks out of your brain at high speeds all by itself...beautiful, painfull_tears...simply beautifull... :)

#10
gothic_stallion

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VERY INSIGHTFULL......i can relate really well to it....keep up the good work.

#11
painful_tears

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thank you i appreciate all the replies...weeping angel that is really nice of you to say....i will post more i havent had the time but i promise i will...black babmi those are really beautiful...i dont even know what im writing when i write..i write from my heart and i just let my hand do the work...skye thanx so much

#12
Weeping_Angel

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Writing....Poetry especially, is nothing, if not a great purge of emotion, a release, no matter in what format or context..
I really am interested in reading more of your work...
Hope to see you post another soon! :)
PEaCe,
Mourning...




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