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Rewrite the Ten Commandments...


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#21
Vash_The_Stampede

Vash_The_Stampede

    Horton Hears A Who

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Heres some additions:

11. Masturbation is to be prohibited past the age of 60. (frankly if you can still get it up regularly then you really should see a doctor)

12. Anyone who yells at you to pick up a flyer about the latest church in town (unless its the church of FOAMY) is to be burned alive, and mailed to thier parents.

13. Yo Mamma jokes are to be told in middle school only, any of them told outside a middle school will be branded on the joke teller, and thier mother.

I give you the 13 fuckin commandments *bows*

Edited by Vash_The_Stampede, 02 April 2007 - 03:59 PM.

One day, someone is gonna die for asking if i can see through my hair, would i be able to walk around if i couldn't?

#22
Shattered Skulls

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    The Sneetches And Other Stories

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LOL I love 'em. XD

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#23
Sinvisigoth

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    Hop On Pop

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13. Yo Mamma jokes are to be told in middle school only, any of them told outside a middle school will be branded on the joke teller, and their mother.

Your mother was a suicidal weasel who didn't mind taking off her clothes amongst cavemen in a time loop.

Your mother was a lousy computer programmer who worshipped cheese in a mortuary.

Your mother was a synthetic mud wrestler who used to go mad with a hacksaw in shopping centres.

Your mother was a sadistic cauliflower who embarrassed herself on an uninhabited island.

Your mother was an earthy liar who had her warts removed on the popular Game Show "Name That Vegetable".

Your mother was a brutish golem who designed outlandish clothes in an igloo.

Your mother was an annoying belly dancer who ran up huge phone bills in an illegal drinking establishment in New Guinea.

Your mother was an ungodly pygmy who farted constantly at the local cinema.

Your mother was an appalling road sweeper who used to watch John Wayne films with the help of volunteer workers.

Your mother was an aboriginal prostitute who talked incessantly about teapots in fish and chip shops.

Your mother was a double-ugly has-been who gave birth to you on a bungee rope.

Your mother was a backward tramp who ran a successful dating agency with a small imaginary friend called Derek.

Your mother was an inadequate Jerry Lewis impersonator who gave unpleasant diseases to countless people in the Millennium Dome.
Laugh at tyrants and the tragedy they inflict; our tears are evidence of subservience but our laughter condemns them to ignominy.

I'm going to do everything and everyone I ever wanted to do, some stuff I said I'd never do so I know what i'm missing out on, and then I'm going to make glow in the dark chocolate pudding for everyone.

Underworld officials say they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

#24
Scypher

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    Now i build Race cars, circle track and drag racing
    and i build off road trucks

9. Cigerettes are to be held holy among all areas, non shall ever have to put out a cig to walk into a public area.


amen to that godammit
It's better to die quick

Fighting on your feet

Than to live forever

Begging on your knees

#25
Shattered Skulls

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LOL All hail the almight smokers. LMAO

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?





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