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been a long time, need some help


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5 replies to this topic

#1
silentstalker

silentstalker

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  • Interests:stalking people(lolz), i am more comftorable in the dark than i am in the light, i enjoy when i am with the people that i love(dont have any right now), spending hours on mirc, finding out ways to hack my schools computer infrastructure, and....um....i dunno......
just a shitload going through my mind, makes me feel sick, here ya go. just need to vent. comment or not. this is what i am thinking in my head, at this current moment.




i want to wake up
Current mood: weird

i want to wake up.
the world isnt real
it cant be
nothing is real
it feels more real when i dream, then when i am awake.
assuming that this world is real,
and this is all there is,
then why does fate fuck with me?
everything in my life has gone wrong.
im not even going to go back all the way.
life sucks.
i want to wake up, see the real world, see who is really controling things
fate. what a load of shit.
what the fuck did i do to deserve this?
am i alone?
are there people watching?
how can one be sure?
yea i know
i sound insane
so many things going through my mind
to many things
what am i doing?
whats going on
who can be sure that were not puppets,
or a science experiment gone wrong?
are we alone?
are there people watching?
what the fuck
why the hell is this happening
nothing makes sence.
the world is supposed to be a happy place, if this is happy
i would hate to see what hell is like
the one thing that i love i cant have
the one thing i want
i cant take
the one thing that keeps me breathing is forbidden
this cant be life
this cant be
there must be more
what the hell is going on
too many voices in my head
what the hell
why is this happening
why must this be how it is
i want to wake up
i want to run away
i want to fuckin leave
i want to know the answers
ive asked the questions but no answers have come
why am i here?
why is this happeneing?
again, something weird is happening
i was smokeing a ciggarette and it tasted sweet
a Marlboro red 100 tasted sweet.
thats not right
i put it out, lite it again, and it tasted how it should
to many voices in my head, im not alone, i wish i was
no, i dont, i wish that i could be with the one thing i value
the one person i care about
the one thing that keeps me technically alive
i feel nothing nothing feels me
im here
no one notices
no one cares, save a few
what the hell
how can this socioty keep me from the person i love
the things that they say
the things they think i can and cant do
i want to snap
go on a rampage
make people see me
make them see the truth
im in love
thats the only thing thats worth living for
snapping, not in violence because i know the police are prolly reading this
but snap inside
im crazy
im unstable
im insane
im angry
im everything
im cold
im warm
im sweating right now, but i cant feel my fingers or toes
i dont know whats going on, i cant feel anything, i havnt blinked in ages
i dont care
i havent eaten, but im not hungry,
i dont know whats wrong
im literally insane
i have people in my head, i dont know what im doing
im just writing in hopes that this will help empty my mind, i havent slept in about...3 weeks
i dont know why,
wait, i do
too many thoughts running through my skull
i want to rip them out i want them to be gone
my heart is black
my soul is cold
the darkness is the only comfort i have, i live for the night
i hate the day
its too bright, everything is reavealed
in the dark
it can conceal things
people who live in it, know more of themselves than
those who live in the dark
its intimate, you know where you are
through senses, not what others tell you
rely on noone, unless you are prepared to die by those people
i dont know what im saying
i hope noone wasted their time reading this, i know 1 person did, and i thank her
i love her
they seperated us. i need a cig.
ill finish later
i dont know whats going on
i dont know where i am
i float through life day and night,
only one thing worth living for,
one thing that is unattainable
because of the fucking government
im an anarchist
i cant do anything about it, they are watching me
i dont care
i want to do something about it
theres nothing that can be done
nothing without me being
put in jail or worse
nothing that i can do
im trapped
im in a corner
nothing can save me
nothing will save me
the one thing, the one person that can
cant. not by their choice, but by the governments.
they cant control me
they wish
ill play their game, as long as it takes.
im done, im sick of this shit.


do you people think im insane????

please give me your honest opinion.
If it bleeds.....you can kill it. If not.....run, for you can bleed.

The planet is fine, the people are fucked.

dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians.

I see eyes in the darkness of my mind.....

The voices in my head dont like me......they dont like me at all.....

RETARDED HOMOSEXUALL MOUNTAIN GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkness.....
Darkness can be your best friend, and it can be your mortal enemy....
things that you can hid in it are monumental. when you wish, the
dark will become your best friend.....it can hid anything....everything
and almost everything anyone wishes to hide.....the darkness is upon
us...we just need to wake up, and realize that a new age is coming.
when the first person wakes up, it will be a shock...then that person
will realize that the nightmare that he has been living in has been a
dream. a dream that will not end, until he accepts the fact that the
world has been left in darkness. the person will then realize that
the darkness is not an enemy, it is a friend....it can be more distant
than a love that is carried on, 30000 miles between two....or, it can
be more intimate than the best lover....when the darkness comes.....
you be ready?

#2
Vharkron

Vharkron

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There's no such thing as fate in my opinion. We create our own lives and are not controlled by any "higher" or "lower" powers. or anyone for that matter. Reality is subjective....I.E. to each person their perception on reality is different. So in that take on mental methodology I don't see you as crazy, maybe just confused. If life seems unreal or it has thrown you some bad cards then it is just the luck of the draw that the objective world has had such an adverse subjective effect on you.


But hey, in this way of looking at things, the objective world might not even exist, only existing as a manifestation of your conciousness.

I say that you might have just had some bad luck, so cheer up and give er'.:D

#3
Sinvisigoth

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I would say desperate not insane as long as you mean that it feels like the world isn't real, not that you believe that it isn't. Desperation can make you do and think things that you think are crazy but it doesn't mean that you are. When you have as many things as this putting pressure on you, the only way to sort it is to try and solve just one little thing at a time. You physically cannot solve everything you have listed above in one go. I have been there and just finding one thing that I could fix gave me the lift I needed to fix the next thing and the next and the next.
Laugh at tyrants and the tragedy they inflict; our tears are evidence of subservience but our laughter condemns them to ignominy.

I'm going to do everything and everyone I ever wanted to do, some stuff I said I'd never do so I know what i'm missing out on, and then I'm going to make glow in the dark chocolate pudding for everyone.

Underworld officials say they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

#4
Shattered Skulls

Shattered Skulls

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Define insanity. Then again, define sanity. One person's perception is another's insanity. I would say that thoughts are just thoughts. If they interfere with your life in a major way, see shrink; most of 'em have no common sense and are more worried about pushing drugs or institutions on you than actually solving your problems so they can get their damned paychecks and wear those snazzy suits, but some of them might actually be helpful. Otherwise, suck it up and look on the bright side: you're still alive, so you still have a choice in what you do.

Sorry if I sound harsh...I don't mean to.

:blink:

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#5
silentstalker

silentstalker

    Horton Hears A Who

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  • Location:the darkest corner of your mind.....
  • Interests:stalking people(lolz), i am more comftorable in the dark than i am in the light, i enjoy when i am with the people that i love(dont have any right now), spending hours on mirc, finding out ways to hack my schools computer infrastructure, and....um....i dunno......
lol, its cool, seriously, you all helped me. thanks guys.
If it bleeds.....you can kill it. If not.....run, for you can bleed.

The planet is fine, the people are fucked.

dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians.

I see eyes in the darkness of my mind.....

The voices in my head dont like me......they dont like me at all.....

RETARDED HOMOSEXUALL MOUNTAIN GNOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkness.....
Darkness can be your best friend, and it can be your mortal enemy....
things that you can hid in it are monumental. when you wish, the
dark will become your best friend.....it can hid anything....everything
and almost everything anyone wishes to hide.....the darkness is upon
us...we just need to wake up, and realize that a new age is coming.
when the first person wakes up, it will be a shock...then that person
will realize that the nightmare that he has been living in has been a
dream. a dream that will not end, until he accepts the fact that the
world has been left in darkness. the person will then realize that
the darkness is not an enemy, it is a friend....it can be more distant
than a love that is carried on, 30000 miles between two....or, it can
be more intimate than the best lover....when the darkness comes.....
you be ready?

#6
Shattered Skulls

Shattered Skulls

    The Sneetches And Other Stories

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Won't be too thankful when you see my bill. B)

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?





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