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How to get on Sanctuary's "Eat List"


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#81
Shattered Skulls

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I say put up a link that says something about free coffee or chocolate. Then, when they get in, hypnotize them so they never, ever leave. And while they're here, put horrible thoughts in their heads that make them want to go do horrible things...and then send them overseas and let them, thereby relieving the strain on our fighting men and women. People want to serve their country, we want entertainment...it all works out in the end. Oh, but make sure it only works on politicians, lawyers, and ass holes.

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Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
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"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

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We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#82
Starphoenix Koroias

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ya know we need a link for this on the main forum page again...somewhere inconspicuous yet visible. even if people are still readying it i keep forgetting where it is.....

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http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!


#83
Shattered Skulls

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I can arrange a beating if you really want one, Seer. ;)

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#84
Shattered Skulls

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I read. :P

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#85
Judah

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Interesting list, though I suppose that the nerf bat can be used to tenderize people with Posted Image

Edited by Judah, 06 July 2010 - 09:06 PM.

When in open territory, both noone. If someone annoys you, ask them to stop. If they do not, destroy them.

-Dr. Anton LeVay, The Rules of the Earth

#86
Starphoenix Koroias

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The perfect way to tenderize a person:

Step 1.) Steal Sanctuary's coffee and petrify it.
Step 2.) Attach it to a softball bat in layers to increase power.
Step 3.) Give to Sanctuary after being coffee-deprived for 217 hours (this is the exact length and breadth of her tolerance level, no less no more. It is my purpose to know. After all I steal it at least once a week while she's off trying to rearrange garbage cans to piss of her neighbors).
Step 4.) Turn target into an oddly-angled position for maximum body-surface exposure.
Step 5.) Let Sanctuary swing until either the bat breaks or she collapses in a fit of righteous ecstasy. The breaking of the target will not stop the beating.
Step 6.) While Santuary is collapsed, I will lock her in a 93.714% inescapable anti-coffee prison with you in the same room.
Step 7.) Run away cackling while she repeated beats on target or uses said target as battering ram to escape.

That's how to tenderize someone.....

*gooses Sanctuary, and while she's confused and affronted, makes off with 3000 pounds of her secret stash and sells it to China in exchange for their child labor force*

style1,Starphoenix.png


http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!


#87
Sanctuary

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The perfect way to tenderize a person:

Step 1.) Steal Sanctuary's coffee and petrify it.
Step 2.) Attach it to a softball bat in layers to increase power.
Step 3.) Give to Sanctuary after being coffee-deprived for 217 hours (this is the exact length and breadth of her tolerance level, no less no more. It is my purpose to know. After all I steal it at least once a week while she's off trying to rearrange garbage cans to piss of her neighbors).
Step 4.) Turn target into an oddly-angled position for maximum body-surface exposure.
Step 5.) Let Sanctuary swing until either the bat breaks or she collapses in a fit of righteous ecstasy. The breaking of the target will not stop the beating.
Step 6.) While Santuary is collapsed, I will lock her in a 93.714% inescapable anti-coffee prison with you in the same room.
Step 7.) Run away cackling while she repeated beats on target or uses said target as battering ram to escape.

That's how to tenderize someone.....

*gooses Sanctuary, and while she's confused and affronted, makes off with 3000 pounds of her secret stash and sells it to China in exchange for their child labor force*


You are so very mean to me!!! :-p

Man!

Ouch and ouch!
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Sometimes it's in the darkness that we truly learn to see.

I'm Dexter in training - so watch it! Imma watchin' you!

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#88
Starphoenix Koroias

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well i take it you didn't get the box of special coffee grounds i mailed you for new year's then? *sigh* that's what i get for using Neglected Class again.... :(

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http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!


#89
Shattered Skulls

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Oh, hey. Are you back, Star? I thought you left! :o Welcome back. :D And poor Sanctuary. You can have our coffee. We have lots! ^_^

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#90
Starphoenix Koroias

Starphoenix Koroias

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Sanctuary is gonna get on my eat list soon :lol:
I don't think I'd mind that much though.... :D

style1,Starphoenix.png


http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!


#91
Starphoenix Koroias

Starphoenix Koroias

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Second Shifters - Radio that bites... Hard
The Station is Currently Up and On Air
Current DJ: Atnevon
Now Playing: The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary
(found on the "Now Playing" box 07/28/2011 8:38pm)

The question is who is "she", why is she selling Sanctuary... and how much?
Own your own Sanctuary today, supplies are limited. Act NOW!!!!

Hmm...what would I do if I owned Sanctuary? Good thing I work for a shipping company too, I can get her past customs EASY...
*muwahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!*

style1,Starphoenix.png


http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!


#92
Shattered Skulls

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Aw, but then what would become of her wonderful eat list?

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#93
Starphoenix Koroias

Starphoenix Koroias

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No fair, the east list vanished. O.o


style1,Starphoenix.png


http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!





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