Cast ye the spam that doth live for 1000 years into the pit of nobility! Cast ye the briquet of coal into the pit that thou mayeth cook the spam! Cast ye a match lit by the flames of speech onto the briquet that thou may lightest the spam! Cast ye a skewer born of spite into the spam that ye mayeth retrive the spam! Wield thee a fork of silver and plate of paper so though mayest eat the spam! And then taketh thee a few Tums for the heartburn causeth by the spam....
Hallowed by thine meat, or great canned wonder beith that name of Spam! Praise thy salty taste and texture of gelatin that the masses may hunger no more! Amen.
Spam Worshippers Anthem -- "Spam" by Weird Al Yankovic
1.) Thou shalt hold Spam the highest of meats, and shalt have no other meats before it.
2.) Thou shalt not speak the name of Spam in vain, or useth it for bathroom grout.
3.) Thou shalt honour thy producer of Spam, for theyest art good.
4.) Thou shalt honour thy canner of Spam, for theyest art truly noble.
5.) Thou shalt honour thy seller of Spam with colored paper of all denominations, for this is thine offerring of
tithe to the Spam.
6.) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Spam, unless ye be out of thine own Spam, in which case thou mayest
covet thy neighbor's Spam with showing of drool.
7.) Thou shalt not steal thy Spam, unless thy Spam be stolen first.
8.) Thou shalt keep sacred the birthdate of Spam, and keep it holy.
9.) Thou shalt not destroy thine marketplace if theyest be out of Spam, for thy Spam cometh soon.
10.) Thou must eateth Spam in a variety of ways.
11.) Thou shalt not eateth of the Spam which doth flap in the wind.
12.) Thou shalt eateth of the Spam thou has waved into the flames of thine campfire.
13.) Thou shalt eateth the Spam which hath fallen upon the ground using the three-second rule.
14.) Thou shalt not wasteth the Spam, for thine Spam maketh good pet food.
15.) Thou can eateth the spam from any tree upon this land save for the tree grown on thine patch of cow
patties lest ye be shown how that spam doth give you headtrips.
16.) Thou shalt eat Spam straight from the can when thouest must.
17.) Thou shalt eat Spam fried upon the pan of righteousness.
18.) Thou shalt eat Spam in burger form.
19.) Thou shalt dress Spam in a gourmet setting to give thine Spam its due.
20.) Thou shalt preach the tastiness of Spam.
21.) Thou shalt visit once a year the holy ground on which Spam is born.
22.) Thou shalt find new ways to eateth thy Spam.
23.) Thou shalt not use thy Spam in a foodfight.
24.) Thou shalt use thy Spam as halloween candy.
25.) Thou shalt barbacue Spam and serve it as steaks.
26.) Thou shalt not leave thy Spam alone in a foreign place.
27.) Thou shalt not abandon thy Spam to unknown fates.
28.) Thou shalt not put thy Spam in the trunk of thy car.
29.) Thy Spam shall sitteth in a place of reverence until it doth be eaten.
30.) Thou shalt not use Spam for fish chum.
31.) Thou shouldest puree Spam for thine infants.
32.) Thou shouldest puree Spam for thine elders.
33.) Thou shalt wear the empty cans of thine Spam as jewelry to show that thouest art truly eater of Spam.
34.) Thou shalt make cans of Spam into hubcaps for thine vehicle.
35.) Thou shalt not make cans of Spam into armor for thine vehicle.
36.) Thou shalt not make cans of Spam into false currency to buy Spam.
37.) Thou shalt barter thine overprice electronics to eat Spam when thou hath no currency.
38.) Thou shalt use cans of Spam as decoration for thine living space.
39.) Thou shalt not attempt to petrify Spam to use as a weapon.
40.) Exception to #39, thou mayest use thy Spam as a weapon if thouest must smite a vegetarian from the
face of this world, for vegetarians are bane to Spam.
41.) Thou shalt not become a vegetarian, lest ye be smited by the followers of Spam.
42.) Thou shalt hold a convention with thine fellow followers to honor thine Spam.
43.) Thou shalt see Spamalot just because.
44.) Thou shalt not make love to thine Spam, even if thou dost loveth thine Spam.
45.) Thou shalt not make thine furniture of Spam, even if thou dost loveth the texture of thine Spam.
46.) Thou shalt defend thine Spam in Spam's hour of need.
47.) Thou shalt petition for Spam vending machines worldwide.
48.) Thou shalt elect Spam your country's next leader.
49.) Thou shalt seek to expand upon these Commandments of Spam.
50.) And lastly, thou shalt appreciate the hard work of he that hath taken the time to write these lines for
the glory of Spam, lest ye be labelled vegetarian and smited by the followers of Spam.
Edited by starphoenixkoroias, 17 June 2009 - 01:47 AM.