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Somethings to keep in Mind When reading the Ads....


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6 replies to this topic

#1
Gabriel

Gabriel

    Horton Hears A Who

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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:My head
  • Interests:Anything that makes my body move to the sound of the music. It makes my wings spread out so i can fly. I'd rather fly in doors.

    Burn is the name and magic is my game, I'm a summoner of many things but angels; they don't like what I'm doing.

    My name, i really do like my REM name only because Caz (that's what the beginning of his name sounds like) named me out of spite for his brother because the Arc Gabriel, no matter how much he curses the human race and kills us off one by one, he is still accepted by God as his Death Angel.
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS :flush:
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former very *friendly* person
Fun = Annoying
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Professional = Bitch
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large frame = Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate = Stalker
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
WOMEN'S ENGLISH :wacko:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
MEN'S ENGLISH :ph34r:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
And finally..... :wizard:

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petro and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a stump shoved up his backside. :blink:
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

"Time comes when the the cold sets in and puts Gods work into a deep Coma like slumber, this my friends is called death and it could never be oh so beautiful this time of the year."



Tomorrow is another day to find out if your going to die or not, better get to work
before Dark angel of death comes back for more than just his redemption's.



Final thought for the day:

Did you know that President Obama signed his stimulus package at the same desk where President Clinton got his package stimulated?


~ Azriel's daughter

#2
Enki Anunaki

Enki Anunaki

    Necromancer Extraordinaire

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Dunno about all that. My sister has a large frame and she can knock a man out in one punch.

#3
Shattered Skulls

Shattered Skulls

    The Sneetches And Other Stories

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*Falls over laughing.*

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Posted Image
Posted ImageI see what you did there.Posted Image
Posted ImageA fractured mind is a beautiful thing.Posted Image
Posted ImageThe internet is for...Posted Image
"If being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different, I'd rather be completely fucking mental!"
(Angelina Jolie)

Posted Image

We're all born the same way: wet, cold, and screaming; life is just as messy as death.
We all eat, drink, piss, shit, fuck, and die. Someone mind tellin' me the punch line?


#4
dhemigod

dhemigod

    Horton Hatches The Egg

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Dunno bout tact and diplomacy, Id say subtle manipulation by modern con men.

Isnt that the basis of a finacial economics? how to get as much money for as little effort as possible from mr and mrs dont know any better? :ph34r:

Physical appearance is just one of the more in your face things, I figure that those with the 'requirements' to be a model etc. are a verrry small percent of the total population... Its always baffled me that so many even think that it is acheivable or desirable... :huh:

Personally, I cant wait till all those who religiously do botox finally give it up :D

"Does your face hang low? does it flap to and fro.....!" :P
Guy hunted cause he liked to kill - more violent than a constipated Brujah on Speed.
- Horace Slater - (Nosferatu Clanbook)

When the student is ready. . . the lesson appears.
- Gene Oliver

#5
Gabriel

Gabriel

    Horton Hears A Who

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  • Interests:Anything that makes my body move to the sound of the music. It makes my wings spread out so i can fly. I'd rather fly in doors.

    Burn is the name and magic is my game, I'm a summoner of many things but angels; they don't like what I'm doing.

    My name, i really do like my REM name only because Caz (that's what the beginning of his name sounds like) named me out of spite for his brother because the Arc Gabriel, no matter how much he curses the human race and kills us off one by one, he is still accepted by God as his Death Angel.

...does it jiggle when you speak, can you fold into a roll?...




Observations speak for themselves when it comes to viewing the average cliche.


OMG!!! I got that song stuck in my head!!!



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


Must.....................resist..............humming............the................song...............shit..........


CAN YOU PAT IT, CAN YOU WACK IT, CAN YOU POKE IT WITH A SITCK?!

Curse you Demigod for your catchphrases :P Lol

"Time comes when the the cold sets in and puts Gods work into a deep Coma like slumber, this my friends is called death and it could never be oh so beautiful this time of the year."



Tomorrow is another day to find out if your going to die or not, better get to work
before Dark angel of death comes back for more than just his redemption's.



Final thought for the day:

Did you know that President Obama signed his stimulus package at the same desk where President Clinton got his package stimulated?


~ Azriel's daughter

#6
ViusSolaris

ViusSolaris

    Yertle The Turtle

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LOl thanks for sharing the secret of women and personal ads! ;)
*takes notes* xD

#7
Starphoenix Koroias

Starphoenix Koroias

    And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street

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Observations speak for themselves when it comes to viewing the average cliche.


OMG!!! I got that song stuck in my head!!!



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


Must.....................resist..............humming............the................song...............shit..........


CAN YOU PAT IT, CAN YOU WACK IT, CAN YOU POKE IT WITH A SITCK?!


Curse you Demigod for your catchphrases :P Lol


Can you cut it, can you rip it, does it wiggle when you lick?

Dunno why I thought of that......

style1,Starphoenix.png


http://www.aardwolf.com

 

I'm a good cook, really!





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